Searching Our Hearts

Searching Our Hearts

I realize many may complain and say, “Beautiful Nickolas, I wish I felt that way. But it‘s not in me; I don‘t love God like that. So what can I do? Does it mean I‘m left out? How can I love when my heart is cold, when all I experience is the nagging guilt of knowing my love is a sorry thing not worth offering? Isn‘t it hypocritical to force love? To go through the motions of an unreal love?”

My answer to this complaint is quite simply that I don‘t know. This Holy pursuit, this hungering after the reality of Jesus, is something He draws out of us — in His time. Although, maybe the problem isn‘t so much that your love is absent, but rather suppressed. It’s possible it is simply lying dormant beneath the weight of unbelief and discouragement?

Unrequited love is painful. So rather than being tortured, we bury our love where it will never disturb us by its insatiable demands. We do love. We long to experience everything that we were created and redeemed for; but we suppress those longings, dam them up and silence them because we are afraid its pain will be unsupportable.

Michael Card‘s song, In Stillness and Simplicity, encourages us to sit quietly before the Lord and listen for his voice. One line asks the piercing question; “Is the reason we’re not still, to hear you speak, because we don’t believe you will?”

Love is a hunger, and contrary to what many struggling dieters believe, hunger can be suppressed. If you were to ask me during a fast if I was hungry, I would probably say “No.” Then again, if you put a delicious meal in front of me and as soon as it assails my senses I will say, “My, maybe I am hungry.”

So it is with our love for the Lord. It lies deep within many of our hearts like a coiled spring, inactive but straining for release. It is a potential volcano, a dangerous thing that we are afraid to set free because we do not want to cope with a raging fire. (“What will my family and friends think?” “I don’t want anyone to say I‘m a fanatic!”I have a reputation to uphold, I don‘t want people to think I‘m some religious kook or something?”) Yet, that is exactly what the Lord is calling us to live out. As John White encourages, we are to “give ourselves up to passion!”

Nickolas
Doulos Studies

(I send out messages like this each morning in emails, and if you are interested in receiving them, send me your email address and I will add you to the list: Mail List)

I do thank you for your gifts
It is your faithful and continued support that makes these messages possible.

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